(useless) information

A 26yr old female whose brain is powered by caffeine; without its main fuel source it has a working speed slower than that of a slug. That aside, she wishes she could grow a teeny weeny bit (read: a lot) taller and constantly whines about her weight. Enjoys devising novel ways to traumatise people with her bludders. Oh, and she is rather antisocial.

Signs that show that I'm in dire need of a break:

1. I start hearing The Ting Tings' entire album in my head. And if that is not bad enough, I also have to constantly fight the urge to start bobbing my head vigorously to the music in my head and sing along ("Shut up and let me go, HEY!").

2. Demented blacksmiths start hammering in my head the moment I step into the office.

3. I feel my spirits take a screaming nosedive whenever I see another email from my boss (say, the 1934207th email in a day), reminding me of impending deadlines of projects (which, despite working my arse off, is nowhere near completion), audits, presentations... yada yada yada.

4. I feel like drawing smiley faces in every bacterial colony I see in a petri dish. And I mean, EVERY colony.

5. The blacksmiths in my head stop working the moment I step out of the office.

6. Despite smothering my face with Clindamycin and Tretinoin, pimples still regularly pop out on my face by the dozens. Wahlaueh, I'm almost hitting 30 liao, still have pimples?! KNS!!! I'm waaaaaay past adolescence, for goodness' sake!

6. I'm starting to develop an unhealthy obsession with stiletto heels, never mind the fact that I can barely balance myself on two-inch high heels, and will definitely bring a whole new meaning to the term death by stilettos.
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So, if you ever see a pimply, glazed-eyed, hallow-skinned cute gal aunty da jie jie attempting to walk around in stilettos (and failing miserably), head bobbing to some tune that can only be heard in her head, there's a high probability that this da jie jie will be yours truly. Please keep calm, continue whatever you're doing, and do not call the IMH. I'm perfectly sane, thankyouverymuch.

I just need a break, that's all.
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Nowadays, I do not get angry at the friggin' feeder bus if it comes late - which it does, unfailingly, everyday. Why should I? The bus driver is simply trying to help me, so that I can run to the MRT station and exercise my legs. That's really nice of the bus driver, don't you think?

I no longer get angry if I miss that empty MRT train that reaches the station at precisely 6.35am and have to cram myself, like a sardine, into the next train that comes SEVEN minutes later. You see, I realise that the SMRT corporation is trying to improve my contortion skills, so as to improve my flexibility and muscle tone. That's really so kind of them, don't you think? Oh, and I get to improve my olfactory senses, because given my height (or lack of, to be precise), my nose will usually be at the level of other people's armpits. Ahh, armpit sniffing early in the morning. Good for the brain, I tell ya!

I love it when I get to display my balancing skills on board the MRT, because the driver is kind enough to make the ride as jerky as possible. Accelerate, brake, then accelerate again while everyone is flying in the air, then brake...

I see other nice people on board the MRT too - the pole polishers. They are doing everyone a service by keeping the poles in a nice and gleaming condition, by polishing the poles with their backs and butts, while leaning on the poles. And the really, really nice ones are the nice people who try to train the physique of the elderly and the pregnant, by not giving up their seats.

So yea, I'm now looking forward to taking the public transport again tomorrow. Can't wait to meet up with more nice passengers on board, siah!
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Wake up, slog work, eat, (trying to) shit, sleep.
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ASF says:
not that we're happening

ASF says:
we're still newbs at clubbing, but we're getting there

WFP says:
hahaha

WFP says:
we're getting there

WFP says:
keke..

WFP says:
yea

ASF says:
wahahaha

ASF says:
machiam like we're getting pro

ASF says:
when we've only been there like exactly ONCE

WFP says:
dats y!

WFP says:
wahaha

WFP says:
okay..well;..... at least we've been tehre

WFP says:
there

ASF says:
yea at least i wont get embarrassed when im old and my grandkid asks me if i've EVER been clubbing before and i have to say no

WFP says:
wahaha

WFP says:
yea lorz

WFP says:
true

WFP says:
hehe

WFP says:
tell them u pro ah!!

ASF says:
wahahah yea i could probably go 'Ah Ma that time damn HIONG one ar, i tell u!'

ASF says:
then my grandkid will probably pengz silently

ASF says:
at the hiong ah ma

WFP says:
hahahhaa

WFP says:
WAHLAU

ASF says:
and maybe aihuat will just roll his eyes

ASF says:
and go, 'sianz she's bragging abt her exactly ONE clubbing experience again'

WFP says:
hahaha

WFP says:
yea lorz

WFP says:
i can imagine that

P.S. Eh. I've only been clubbing once, but I damn pro one, ok!
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December 2005 January 2006 February 2006 March 2006 April 2006 May 2006 June 2006 July 2006 August 2006 September 2006 January 2008 March 2008 May 2008 June 2008 August 2008

Le Raine
the starcity
Buddhists Do Scratch Their Heads Too
KungfuBunny
Mr Wang Says So
Expat@Large
Kurt Low
It's Raining Noodles!
Sibeh Sian


(I know the list is pathetic, but hey, I ain't called Antisocialfreak for nothin', you know.)
Irene
Junnie



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